Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a genius and a whore.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize