Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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