Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
