I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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