I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
