So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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