I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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