i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize