My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Let's get the cat blown out
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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