3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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