Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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