Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
