I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
