i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I could fuck to npr.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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