Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Do vagina's smell?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
