the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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