as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
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Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
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I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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