I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
