these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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