i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Randomize
