Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We had to coat check the pizza.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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