i think my tv is drunk
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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