Nicole vs. Life
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
