so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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