Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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