WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
