She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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