She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
