I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
