that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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