My brain says no but my pants say off.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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