I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
