You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
