I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
