If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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