420 ftw
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
