Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
