Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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