Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
He has the fingertips of a God
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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