Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
