shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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