I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
