Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
