I accidentally burped into my bong.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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