Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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