so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
