So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
