question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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