She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize