I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
