What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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