Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I am naked and annoyed.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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