I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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