God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize