But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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