$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
