do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just high enough for therapy.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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