Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize