I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
