You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Plan B is the new Plan A
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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